Sunday, February 15, 2009

The Reason

As promised to TJ - I will post from time to time - I'm not much or a writer as T is, but I am committed to this Ironman thing - here's why:

The reason is - it all has to do with Ron R, my sponsor, my mentor, my friend my soul brother - and I'm sorry to say that I still miss him every day. I need him now more than ever - but the good news is that the training keeps me in constant touch with him - it's very spiritual to me - discipline through excerxice is the first life skill Ron inspired me to do in my recovery. Long before the God thing and the Steps - he talked to me daily how much exercise helped him overcome his demons and instill discipline in his life to accomplish anything worthwhile. It was the first leg in establishing the 'balance' in life - physical, spiritual, emotional and of course if you knew Ron - financial. Over the next 19 years - he shared his experience, strength and hope to me in all these areas, and I accepted.

I owe a majority of all my success in life to Ron - I was introduced to him while we were both working at New York Life - the story is he was going up and I was going down - I left there a failure, at least I thought so. What was strange to me at the time, he stayed in touch with me over the next 5 years - I had nothing and I certainly didn't have any money. He would simply tell me his story eveytime we met - it was a true 'rags-to-riches' story and for all this time, deep inside I wanted this for me too - but I was simply not ready, nor was I capable of asking for help.

After much more pain and sorrow and at my bottom - I called Ron and the life-changing journey began. 19 years together in awesome, twelve-step recovery and more fun than I could possibly have imagined. I've been blessed with so much success in all areas in my life - that it would take too much of my writing to explain - all I can say is that as a result of this success - I am committed to a life of Love and Service to twelve-step recovery and service to my family, friends and business associates. I am living my dream and purpose in life - and that is to help others with the gifts that have been given so freely to me.

Fast-forward - In 2002 - I was working with Rick Powell (a cancer survivor) and John Kennedy (his daughter a cancer survivor) at PMG - I remember how inspired I was to hear Rick talk about his experience and of course big John Kennedy kept talking and asking me to join him and Rick in triathlon - I must have said no a thousand times - I just had too many injuries to overcome. I introduced Chris Stokes to Rick and John, who lost his dear son Matthew to leukemia, in the hope that it would help Chris. That year Chris was the first of our gang to finish a tri and it was very inspiring.

In 2003, Ron R passed - After 3 months of depression - the thought came to me join these guys and the Team - and sign up for the Columbia Tri - an olympic distance that at the time looked liked climbing Mt Everest - just something completly out of reach.

As usual, all the demons possibly imagined in my head to go along with the physical issues - which led to more doubt - so of course all I could muster on my own was that I was a failure and a loser and I couldn't do it. Overcoming my biggest hurdle - the natural disease of self-doubt would be my greatest challenge.

Then I remebered what Ron had taught me and showed me - 'I've climbed the highest mountain that I'm ever going to climb' - that Anything is Possible - and the Sky's the Limit'.

I believed him before and if I was going to move forward after his passing and continue the jouney - I better believe it again. Decison was made - I signed up that year in 2004 and what a great new beginning this has been!

In his last days before Ron passed he told me some things that were very special between him and I. I of course made some promises to him.

You see, I really have no choice!

I love you Ron - and may God Bless us all!

Thanks TJ - I'm now crying like a baby...

Next time - "You're going to do what?"

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